When it comes to being totally awesome in bed, you need to learn how to be a great sex partner to yourself first and not from the golden age of adult film. That’s where masturbating comes in. As it gives you the chance to get in tune with your own body and sexual preferences, it can then help you feel more sexually inclined and aroused in general, where you can go into sex with a partner and expect a major orgasm. Frankly, by giving yourself orgasms and letting yourself feel sexier, you’re going to have a higher libido, as you’re reminded of just how damn good it feels. Here are a few reasons why masturbating can help you be better between the sheets for pleasure all around and perhaps, some great advice about how to maintain the manicure.
You Can Tell Your Partner What You Like
If you’re in touch with what you enjoy sexually, you can better communicate that to your partner and offer up some tips like the use of shower sex toys, Carol Queen, PhD, says Good Vibrations staff sexologist. “It helps you understand your own responses better, which makes it easier for you to communicate with a partner about what pleases you (including but not limited to watching porn with your partner),” she says. As you begin to realize what does the trick, give your partner a hand in making sex awesome the same way you’d do the cooking for your date.
You’ll Get to Know Your Orgasm
Beyond just knowing how you’ll likely orgasm based on technique and mood, you’ll also understand your orgasm itself better. “It raises the possibility that you will be orgasmic and allows more knowledge about how long that takes, etc.,” she says. This way, you can time sex better and feel more inclined to naturally orgasm.
You’ll Know Who You’re Compatible With
If you’re sharing the tips of how to get you to orgasm and your partner just can’t seem to get it right, then maybe you’re just not compatible (and you wouldn’t have realized that early enough otherwise). “It helps you understand the difference between a good and compatible sex partner vs. one who isn’t,” she explains. If it’s a deal-breaker, it’s time to end things.
You Know How to Orgasm Yourself
When you’re aware that you can get yourself off, no partner needed, you’ll feel less anxious about not getting that orgasm when in bed, and this in turn will make you feel more relaxed. When you’re more relaxed, you’re way more likely to get that big O. “It means you need not be dependent on a partner for pleasure and orgasm, which can make you a more relaxed and centered partner,” she says.
You’ll Feel Empowered AF
Let’s face it: turning yourself on and making the magic happen feels sexy as hell. “Some people find masturbation makes them feel more independent as individuals, and that can actually be a very empowered stance when you’re in a relationship,” she says, where you’re “less likely to feel ‘needy’ and your self-image entwined with the other person’s behavior toward you,” she says. This is better for the relationship on both ends, long-term.