There are many reasons why women don’t need validation. In fact, no one should look for it. But if you worry about disapproval, it might be a sign of deeper issues. Let’s talk about women empowerment and validation and signs of a problem that you should address as soon as it appears.
What Is Validation?
In short, validation boils down to trying to get others to appreciate and validate one’s actions. These people are seeking approval and trying to get acceptance or affirmation of their emotions and actions.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be accepted. But being an approval seeker is when problems occur. A person that seeks validation no matter what can experience numerous other issues.
Once a person gets inside the infinite loop, they will never be satisfied with their lives. Their constant need for validation will get the best of them, making any type of satisfaction nearly impossible. This is why it is essential to spot approval-seeking patterns and eliminate them as soon as possible.
You Are Always in Need of Company
One of the first signs of the constant need for validation is the need for the company. Now, if you feel lonely from time to time, or if you would like to go out and have some fun, that’s perfectly natural. But the key word here is “always.” Not being able to stay alone on your own, and feeling the need to spend time with other people.
Ask yourself, is your satisfaction and happiness dependent on other people? Are you dependent on who stays and who leaves your life? Caring about other people is incredible. And there is nothing wrong with it. But you need to understand that other people have their own lives. They come and go. Sometimes, they might not be able to spend as much time with you as they’d like. And that is something you will need to get used to.
It is necessary to understand the feelings you are going through. It is the only way to see the situation clearly and start looking for a way out.
You Don’t React to Something That Displeases You
The next thing we should discuss is the lack of willingness to react to something that bothers you. Many people would rather stay quiet than say what displeases them. And this is a bad sign. If something bothers you, there is nothing wrong with talking about it. You don’t need to start a fight if it’s not worth fighting for.
But at the same time, you have the right to be angry about something. It is not fair to you to keep everything to yourself, and people will appreciate you more if you stand up for yourself. This is one of the main tricks people with validation issues fail to understand. They believe that avoiding conflicts at all costs and just accepting the situation will make people appreciate them more. But it is the exact opposite that works.
It’s Hard to Say No
People-pleasing often means that a person is not able to say no. Or at least that it is quite hard for them to decline something. The problem here is that people-pleasers don’t want to disappoint their friends. And with that in mind, they will do anything it takes, even if they are hurt in the process.
There are cases when people around you will abuse your trust, and you are not able to decline something. But at the same time, they might think that you are perfectly fine with the idea since you accepted. Not many people will be willing to spend a lot of time thinking about whether that’s something you truly agree to do.
If you notice that you are prone to saying “yes” regardless of the question and without considering whether it will affect you, you might have a problem with validation.
You Fish For Compliments
People who lack validation will often try to “force” others to validate them by fishing for compliments. If you are unfamiliar with the term, it means that someone is actively trying to make other people say good things about them. A typical example is someone saying that they are bad at something they obviously aren’t bad at. This will cause other people to give them compliments.
Fishing for compliments can be a sign that a person is too self-absorbed. They are focused on their own thoughts and feelings, which can cause them to miss a bigger picture. While it seems that the problem can be solved with ease, the feeling can be overwhelming at times.
You’re Scared of What People Might Think About You
We all want to look good in front of other people. We try our best to make other people like us, and that’s not worrying. It is a problem when it starts being too much for one person. If you are someone who gets scared of what other people might think of you, it is a sign of a problem.
You can’t please everyone. No one can. And there will always be those that dislike you. You need to start finding a way to accept that. After all, what is the big deal about it? So, what if someone doesn’t like you? You can dislike them as well! Now, this is easier said than done, but with enough focus and practice, you will be able to learn to let go.
In the majority of cases, this is just paranoia speaking to you. When someone is scared of how others would react or what they might think, the most common answer is — nothing. People focus on their own lives, and those who don’t know you won’t have any opinion.
The Undeniable Results
Constant focus on other people, their needs, opinions, desires, and thoughts is only preventing you from living. Start thinking about how you feel, and try expressing your feelings more often. Naturally, if you don’t want to do something, say it.
Avoiding facing your problems will only create more of them. And you will continue sinking deeper and deeper. Being fearful of rejection is perfectly normal, but you shouldn’t allow this feeling to overtake your entire existence.
The only thing it will get you is consequences for your mental health. So, start solving the problem as soon as you notice its signs.
